Conflict, Combat, Confront, and Comfort : Navigating disagreements w: people in a Godly way

My name is Ladasia Whitehurst, most call me ”Dasia” or “Dej” if you’re like my friend. I thought I should do better with being real with my real name. It is pronounced ”Luh-day-juh” , not “luh-das-eiya-“. I never share my first name because it’s always mispronounced but anyways it is your host of Daughters Of The King Ministry and I am back with another blog.

In our society, we deal with everyday conflict. In this blog I will be discussing the various ways on how to do a conflict as a Christian using biblical principles and also personal examples. Through the Holy Spirit, I will be providing you with wisdom.

Define:

1. conflict : a serious disagreement or argument, the Bible calls this a quarrel ( a trivial issue and between people who are usually on good terms)

2. combat: fighting between armed forces like a battle Biblically we should be combating the devil , his demons and our flesh they are our enemies. We combat them with our armor of God.

3. confront: meet (someone) face to face with hostile or argumentative intent.

4. comfort: a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint."the easing or alleviation of a person's feelings of grief or distress.

The three c’s or as Tye Tribett said in recent church service “C stands for Christ” and he is right the c’s in what I mentioned above stands for Christ because what better way to navigate disagreements than through and with Jesus Christ.

Scriptures:

• “We are not fighting against human enemies. Instead, we are fighting against the rulers and the powerful spirits that have authority over this dark world. We are fighting against the bad spirits who live in the heavens.” Ephesians‬ ‭6‬:‭12‬ ‭EASY

• ‬‬ “Perhaps you want to tell your friend about his little mistake. If you want to do that, first remember your own bigger mistakes.” Matthew‬ ‭7‬:‭3‬ ‭EASY‬‬

• “Two people may agree together to ask God for something. If they agree like that, then my Father in heaven will give them what they ask for.” Matthew‬ ‭18‬:‭19‬ ‭EASY

• “Jesus replied, ‘I do not say only seven times. I say you should forgive him 77 times!’” Matthew‬ ‭18‬:‭22‬ ‭EASY‬‬

• Matthew 18:15-22

• Whenever we have trouble, he comforts us. Because of that, we ourselves can comfort other people. When they have any kind of trouble, we can comfort them, in the same way that God has comforted us.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭1‬:‭4‬ ‭EASY‬‬

The problem:

The issue comes into play when we are dealing with everyday conflict whether it is unbelievers whether it’s a Christian or perhaps there is conflict within ourselves, and we need to know how to solve it. The only way to solve it is through Christ is by combating the enemy with the spiritual armor of God. If you don’t know what that is, read Ephesians as it talks about putting on your armor to stand against the enemy.

We’ve all had someone who has offended us, betrayed us, hurt us, etc and there’s no better person who went through all of that on the cross whose name is Jesus.

The other issue is people aren’t willing to deal with their conflicts. People would rather gossip, they would rather continue to seek revenge, rather jealous, and envious, which the Bible clearly tells us to stay away from. Galatians 5:19-21; "Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God." We are to be set apart from the world. We are to exemplify Christ.

Conflict isn’t a bad word, conflict isn’t bad. It reveals the things in our heart that we need to work on that we need to be better at as Christ followers. Most people run when there’s conflict and I (myself) can admit I’ve tried to run and to be honest.. God will outrun you.

You must be willing to take accountability and acknowledge that you need Him. if you don’t take accountability or acknowledge your mistakes, and acknowledge that you sin then that is an even bigger issue.

Biblical example:

In the Bible, we all know the story of Job. If you don’t know the story of Job, then you should go read it ASAP. In the story Job was a man after God's heart he was faithful he had everything that he could ever want and then Satan attacked his life with so much conflict and so much turmoil. However, God allowed this because He knew Job would continue to serve Him. God allows conflicts because conflict can become the catalyst to greater understanding, intimacy and depth of a relationship or it could bring bitterness, and broken relationships. It is how we choose to respond to the conflict that matters.

Job remained faithful even though he did have questions, he still prayed. Friends turned against him. His wife wanted him to curse God. They all blamed God for what was happening to him. All the odds were against him.

This goes to say that some conflict doesn’t have to be about you in another individual, some conflicts are circumstantial, and it needs to be combative in the same way by prayer by rebuking the devil and speaking life over that situation, then you confront that situation that’s what Job did he confronted it by asking God those questions and God responded to Him by comforting Job that he is God. Job understood and God blessed him even more than he had before. There’s a lot of commentary and context through the book of Job, however I just wanted to point out the key points related to this blog specifically.

“He said, ‘When I was born, I had nothing. When I die, I will take nothing with me. The Lord has given me all the things that I have. The Lord may choose to take those things away. I will continue to praise the name of the Lord!’ Even after all these things had happened, Job still did not do anything bad. He did not say that God had done something wrong to him.”

‭‭Job‬ ‭1‬:‭21‬-‭22‬ ‭EASY‬‬

Personal example:

All throughout 2023 I have dealt with various conflicts. I’ve dealt with conflict with my biological dad. I’ve dealt with conflict with my Godly friends. I’ve dealt with conflict with my family. I’ve dealt with conflict in many ways that have equipped me to be better at handling it. Recently, if you know my testimony, (on youtube; Thatchristiangworl) then you know that my biological father isn’t the best at being a father to me because there was so much conflict with him alone. I held on to unforgiveness, worry, doubt, resentment. I even blocked him at various times to try to bury it because then, if I bury it, I don’t have to deal with it then perhaps I can just forget about it but I’m here to tell you that Jesus doesn’t want us to bury things he want us to confront them he wants us to go to war and combat it. When you bury things the further you bury it the longer it takes to dig up but when you confront it you get to the problem while it’s already surfacing then you can find true freedom, true healing, true peace.

I began to discover that I need to forgive my biological father, that I need to confront him, that I need to be honest and set boundaries. I discovered that I needed to understand and be patient with my friends and family. I also discovered that we do NOT wrestle against flesh and blood; it is spirits in people sometimes that we fight against.

“We are not fighting against human enemies. Instead, we are fighting against the rulers and the powerful spirits that have authority over this dark world. We are fighting against the bad spirits who live in the heavens.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭6‬:‭12‬ ‭EASY‬‬

Have you ever thought to yourself “they don’t act like this, this isn’t like them”. That means it is SPIRITUAL. Battles are meant to be combatted spiritually which is prayer, worship and getting clarity from God first. There were so many times I skipped prayer and went straight to confronting the person and it led to a bigger conflict now I had to apologize again and forgive again.

“Then Peter came to talk to Jesus. He asked, ‘Lord, if my friend does wrong things against me many times, how many times should I forgive him? Must I forgive him as many as seven times for the wrong things that he has done against me?’ Jesus replied, ‘I do not say only seven times. I say you should forgive him 77 times!’”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18‬:‭21‬-‭22‬ ‭EASY‬‬

Notice in this above verse Jesus tells us to continue to forgive no matter how many times someone sins against you. This is what we ought to do. What someone did is not that deep compared to what Jesus endured on that cross. This is why I’m giving y’all these four steps to navigate disagreements as a Christian. These four steps are conflict, combat, confrontation and comfort. These steps don't necessarily have to be an order. For example, sometime you may have to comfort someone beforeconfronting but always make sure you pray first before anything. Set your pride aside. Be like Jesus.

The next time you think about how someone hurt you, how you hurt someone or whatever the scenario remember you’ve sinned. Jesus forgave you. You can forgive us. God is the God of reconciliation.

Solution

1. Acknowledge that there’s conflict acknowledges that you were offended or perhaps you offended someone else.

2. Combat it by prayer and rebuke the enemy because he will fill your head with so many lies about that person or about yourself. You have to be willing to pray for them even if you don’t have the full context of that conflict. You need to be willing to repent if you sinned against them. Ask the Holy Spirit for direction.

3. Confront them in a godly way. Make sure that you use the word I, or we try not to say you try not to blame them, try to acknowledge the real problem at hand and get to the bottom of it, apologize and forgive and reconcile. Make sure the environment is right for the both of you.

4. Comfort once you have communicated to this person, the Lord will comfort you both, the Lord will honor you both then you can begin to love on this person. You then can begin to understand this person, even more, because of the depth of that conversation.

Thank you so much for reading this blog for more in-depth revelation about this topic. Be sure to watch and/or listen to my podcast that will be published on Thursday October 5th 2023. Have a blessed day. Be sure to comment your thoughts below. Subscribe to my Yt; Thatchristiangworl and follow me on socials :)